“If you want to meet people in the real world, go to where the single people all are,” The Dating Guru James Preece, dating coach and relationship expert, tells Bustle. Think about all the things you do when you have a little time to fill on your own. Great places are coffee shops, gyms, museums and my personal favorite, bookstores. Once you look around, you’ll realize how many people are out there just waiting for you to say hello to them! The world is full of instant icebreakers. Just ask them what book they are reading, what they are drinking or how their day is going. If they are free, interested and single then they’ll want to chat back.”
Day 12: Email 20 Friends
If you want to meet your friends’ friends, just ask. “Send an email to at least 20 people you know and ask them to set you up with a friend of the appropriate gender(s) who is single and looking,” Pella Weisman, dating coach and Licensed ily Therapist, tells Bustle. “Give them a brief outline of local hookup sites who you are and what you’re looking for (this is not your extensive wish list, just 2-3 top criteria) so they can forward the email along. Make sure to include a recent head shot and offer ‘amnesty’. (Tell them you promise you won’t be mad if you’re not into the person or if they break your heart down the road). You can even offer prizes for a successful match (e.g. a bottle of wine if you go on a second date, tickets to Hamilton if you move in together, etc.) Have fun with it!”
Day 13: Follow The 50-30-20 Lifestyle
Today think about your lifestyle and see how it measures up to this structure. “The key to meeting people IRL is by setting up your life to be more conducive to that,” Thomas Edwards, founder of The Professional Wingman, tells Bustle. “When I work with clients, I help set their life up to follow a simple lifestyle structure:
- 50% doing what you love through experiences, events, and venues.
- 30% exploring new things through experiences, events, and venues.
- 20% going to singles-focused. experiences, events, and venues.This will make it virtually impossible to not meet anyone new who you could be interested in.
All you have to do is decide how many days or nights in the month you’d like to go out, and the structure will take care of itself. Of course, you’ll have to do some research so do it by checking out sites like Meetup and Eventbrite to find things to do.”
“Want to meet the love of your life? Just open the door,” Alyssa Bunn, professional matchmaker at Tawkify, tells Bustle. “Seriously! That stranger I held the door for chased me down and has now been the love of my life for two years.” Sounds simple enough!
Day 15: Challenge Your Dating Beliefs
“Take an inventory of your internal language around dating, love, and relationship,” Yaghmai says. “What negative things are you saying about them. (hint: Your negative inner talk is taking you away from your dream love life’s vision).Then ask your self the following questions to help you change them so they support your vision of love life. 1) How true is it? (do you have statistical facts) 2) Is this belief supporting your vision of your love life 3) If you believed the complete opposite of this belief what would that be.”
Day 16: Go To Happy Hour Solo
Not meeting one at coffee shops or bookstores? “Find your favorite local watering hole and stop by a happy hour on your way home for a bit, a drink, and some fun conversation,” Julie Spira, online dating expert, digital matchmaker, and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert, tells Bustle. “Steak houses are perfect to meet other singles who are hungry and are alone at the bar.”